Ms. Ravelled buys a bed.

I thought maybe I'd mentioned it here, but I can't find it. Maybe it was over on FB. Or maybe I put it in a letter to someone recently.

Anyway. On my way home from the doctor's office last week I stopped at the estate sale consignment store where I bought the plant stand that's in the alcove in the dining room. And there was this bed.

It is massive. Probably oak. A light but warm finish. Headboard has a deep ogee curve at the top (like an old secretary or armoire). It and the footboard are fashioned to look as if they were made of plantation blinds or shutters. There are four heavily carved bedposts, not tall as a four-poster but nevertheless impressive. This bed is solid as the Rock of Gibraltar. (Please don't tell me that that icon has been carted away and dry docked next to the Queen Mary.) One could found dynasties in this bed if one were not postmenopausal and if one's DNA coprovider of choice were not post-mortal.

Ahem.

When I saw the bed last week, it was priced well out of my comfort zone. I called today, to ask if they could let me know if or when the price dropped. She said it was marked down as low as it would be. I said that it was a gorgeous bed and that I could not afford to pay X. She said, "Oh, didn't you know? It's marked down to Y."

Y was 10% lower than the top of my comfort zone! The kids will help me get it home on Saturday, and it will live in the garage until I'm ready to repaint my bedroom, somewhat earlier than I'd originally planned.

In painting news, there is progress on the trim around the doors, and I am hopeful that I may get it done before I crash on Sunday night. Once the halls are done, there's really very little fiddly stuff left until I have to repaint or replace the kitchen cabinets. Just acres and acres of flat surfaces.

Seven doorways in these two halls. Really?

Time, I think, for a smidgen of knitting and then lights out.

Priorities.

I testify that when help is prayerfully and sincerely sought, our Heavenly Father will help us to give emphasis to that which deserves our time above something else. - Ian S. Ardern, A Time to Prepare, General Conference, Oct 2011

The front of Temperance's sweater is done. I do not have enough brain cells to rub together to design the back, before bedtime. Last night I finished the trim on the door to the middle bedroom. Tonight I ran a few errands and got another coat on the trim for the bathroom door. In theory I could put on another coat before bedtime, but it's a quarter to eleven, and all I want is to be horizontal and unconscious.

Lest you think I am bummed, after work I brought home four new drapery panels and another teal backless chair for the dining room. More on that later, maybe, but definitely not tonight.

Prayers tonight are likely to be of the "Lord, bless Heber; he is so very tired" variety.

The right place, the right time.

The Savior... gave us a great example about not waiting to administer relief to those who have lost a sense of happiness and joy. - Jose L. Alonso, Doing the Right Thing at the Right Time, without Delay, General Conference, Oct 2011

Last night's General Women's Conference was another great example of this. I'm in pretty good shape emotionally. And very grateful for that. President Uchtdorf's talk lovingly illustrated the difference between visiting teaching as a box to be checked off each month, and as Christlike, loving service.

I have a writing route, because coordinating with a companion and making actual visits would be just One More Thing at the moment. By the time I come home from work I am pretty much peopled out. But I can take an hour or two and write letters to send out with copies of the RS newsletter and the VT message from the Ensign, and I can remember birthdays and Valentines Day and send Christmas cards.

I hope when they get my letters they feel Heaven's love for them. These are hard times for many. In the broadcast last night, a woman who lost six of her children in the earthquake in Haiti when her neighbor's house fell on them as they played, bore testimony of God's love for her and the comfort she takes in knowing she will see and have her children again.

Puts my own small struggles in a proper perspective. And makes me all the more grateful for the life I have. Part of the impetus to focus on setting my house in order is so I may have the time, money, and energy to serve my family and others with greater effectiveness.

And the house is a little more chaotic than when I woke up yesterday. There was no room for the new bed in the garage, so it's leaning against a wall in the dining room. When we were there to pick it up, I found a wing chair that wanted to come home as well. It is solid enough for the largest member of the Beloved family, expertly upholstered in a fabric that doesn't make me cringe, was reasonably priced, and I got another 25% off that!

Here I am, trying to curate and simplify, and Heaven is telling me to incorporate more beauty into my life. Affordably. This comes under the heading of blessings so abundant that there is not room to contain them.

In knitting news, the second back is attached to Temperance's sweater. Today I will figure out the sleeve design and get to work on that. And maybe I will also finish the dresses for the twins.

But first there is breakfast. Have a blessed Sabbath, y'all.

If you don't know where you want to go...

In our day many people are living in the midst of sadness and great confusion. They are not finding answers to their questions and are unable to meet their needs. Some have lost a sense of happiness and joy. The prophets have declared that true happiness is found in following the example and teachings of Christ. He is our Savior, He is our teacher, and He is the perfect example. - Jose L. Alonso, Doing the Right Thing at the Right Time, without Delay, General Conference, Oct 2011

Can I get an "amen"? I am so thankful for last weekend's General Conference sessions. I am glad that I wanted to go sit and listen for four, two-hour broadcasts. I am looking forward to the November issue of the Ensign, which will have all five sessions (there is one just for the priesthood brethren; the children's father used to call it the "stop being idiots" session) and the Women's Broadcast from the preceding Saturday, all printed out for study and review.

Last week was weird. A short week of exceedingly long days. I spent chunks of it looking for things to do and ways to help. Mostly, I succeeded. This coming week, I will be doing some training-of-others on two projects, which will be both fun and interesting. I'm part of a two-person team for one project and driver of a four-person committee on the other.

The Culture Fairy has put her oar in the water. I'm going to a concert tomorrow night. A bluegrass festival on Friday night.  The opera with Firstborn a week from Friday. All that has been largely set aside while I work on the house.

So I'm glad that Fourthborn and I made some noticeable progress on the painting yesterday. Two of the doors in the hallway are done. Two more are nearly done. I'm hoping that next weekend we can finish that, plus the ceiling, and lay in the flooring. Tuesday is ward temple night; I will only have Wednesday and Thursday (theoretically) available for painting.

I did get Lark's birthday present finished after work on Friday. And her card and Willow's begun. The butler's tray table is piled high with gifts, which makes me happy. Soon to be joined with more, because I was successful yesterday in finding birthday and Christmas gifts for my sister.

I love wrapping presents. I love making presents. One of the things I have enjoyed most about this year (and the "new normal") is that I've been able to make several of the birthday gifts.

Part of me wants to sit here and write all morning. But I have cards to finish and lessons to study, and I have no idea what to wear to church, and I need to write the notes for my visiting teaching route.

Have a blessed and peaceful Sabbath.

Reading the instruction manual.

The most important way to teach is to be the kind of parents to our children that our Father in Heaven is to us. He is the one perfect parent, and He has shared with us His parenting manual-the scriptures. - Lynn G. Robbins, What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?, General Conference, Apr 2011

So, General Conference is over for another six months. My spirit is fed. My body was exhausted until I came home and took a nap. The music was superb. Much of the counsel seemed just for me, and only some of it made me squirm.

Two most memorable phrases? One I didn't have to write down: Stay in the boat (a parable about river rafting). And one I did: The process of gathering light is the quest of a lifetime. (Elder Uchtdorf)

In mundane news, I made a killer pot of soup. There are five pint jars of leftovers in the fridge. And I finished the second sleeve to Temperance's sweater and attached it to the body. It's ready to be blocked, and I've cast on for the front of Steadfast's.

I've tried to eat sensibly all weekend and have pretty much succeeded. Enjoyed my first shawerma yesterday. Will go back for more. If I were not out of Greek yogurt, I would be having some with Nutella and finely chopped pecans and berries (which I'm also out of). I want something sweet but not stupid.

It's officially not-the-Sabbath. I started a load of laundry and will go back to bed once the shirts are hung up and the socks are in the dryer.

He's quoting my mom.

The single most important principle that should govern every home is to practice the Golden Rule - the Lord's admonition that "all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them" (Matthew 7:12). - M. Russell Ballard, Finding Joy through Loving Service, General Conference, Apr 2011

I heard that a lot, growing up. My parents, though not outwardly religious, were two of the best Christians I know. Mom said the Golden Rule would get you through pretty much any situation in life. I have to agree.

Work has been going well. I haven't had that much to do for SemperFi, so I've been helping the other legal secretaries with one thing or another. Just when I think I have run myself out of work, something else pops up.

Paint did not happen last weekend. At all. But Firstborn and 1BDH helped me get the new bed home, along with a wing chair, and I had a spiritual feast at the General Women's Broadcast on Saturday night. Sunday was restful. A sleep wrecking nap and lots of knitting.

I got blindsided at fast and testimony meeting when the father of one of our young husbands stood and bore his testimony. He is recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and a short time frame. They are traveling around the country to see the kids and the grandkids before he goes Home. And I just sat there in the choir seat with leaky eyes and barely got through conducting the closing song.

"I Am a Child of God" does not typically make me cry. I warned them when they called me as sacrament meeting chorister that music affects me deeply, and that I never know if or when I will get hit by a wave of grief. They said that's fine.

I'm holding them to it.

In knitting news, I am nearly done with the first sleeve on Temperance's sweater. She will go to work with me today, because I'm leaving early for my four month dental cleaning, then picking up Fourthborn for Cheesecake Factory. Having Temperance along will make it easier to fine-tune the length of the sleeve. And if Fourthborn brings MoMo, they can have a dolly tea party while the humans are feasting and laughing.

I miss Knit Night. I'm more rested on Wednesday morning, but I miss Knit Night.

Retrenchment

Therefore, it is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials when experiencing adverse conditions. - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Of Things That Matter Most, General Conference, Oct 2010

I can't complain of any adverse conditions chez Ravelled at the moment. I have enough to eat. A closet full of clothing that I like, that still fits reasonably well. A year's supply of yarn. Or more.  Nevertheless, I am intentionally slowing it down a bit. On the one hand, finish-itis is starting to kick in, in terms of the hall. I did a little more painting tonight. A second coat on the grilles. The strip that will show between them when that wall is finished. Two coats on the door to my studio. If I had Hermione's time turner, I would stay up all night and paint the trim on the doors. But I don't. So I won't. As Tevye said, "There is no other hand." At least not tonight. I am going to focus on getting a decent night's sleep. Maybe I will wake just enough ahead of the alarm that I can put a third coat of paint on the door before hitting the gym.

Salt of the earth

God knows that some of the greatest souls who have ever lived are those who will never appear in the chronicles of history. They are the blessed, humble souls who emulate the Savior's example and spend the days of their lives doing good. - Dieter F. Uchtdorf, You Matter to Him, General Conference, Oct 2011

People like my dad. My mom. My dear, feisty Beloved. Any number of my friends. People who didn't, or don't, think of themselves as anything but ordinary.

That's the kind of person I want to be when I grow up. I am wonderfully blessed.  I am intermittently humble (i.e., teachable). I can only hope, like J. Golden Kimball, that I "repent too damn fast" to go to hell.

This is not false modesty. Nor is it an attack of self-loathing. It is merely an acknowledgement of human frailty. Like every person but One who has lived on this beautiful earth, I sin and fall short on a regular basis. I have gotten a little better at learning from my mistakes. And I take ever greater joy in doing right (and in insisting less on *being* right).

We made some progress here yesterday. Fourthborn got Steadfast's faceup mostly done, ahead of the humidity. She also got the first coat of paint on the grilles. I got one side and both edges of the bathroom door painted. She cleaned the door to my studio. Those doorknobs are bagged and set aside.

Memo to self: time to invest in another box of Magic Erasers.

Wes came and used a different claw than the one I'd borrowed to get rid of the rest of the nails in the hall. He also analyzed the arrangement of the grilles and the baseboard. I won't have to buy new grilles. (Hence the painting.) Once the flooring is down, I can attach the new, taller baseboard, move the grilles up about an inch, and install fresh molding above them to cover where the sill sticks out. (He forgot to bring his oscillating saw to cut that off.)

And while we were doing inside stuff, his eldest was out in my backyard picking up horse apples (the bright green fruit of the bois d'arc tree) and chunking them into my trash bin.

I need to hit Costco after work tomorrow. But after that I should be able to do the last bit of painting where the grilles were (mostly in between them) and get another coat or two on the grilles themselves. And maybe even paint the studio door, if I don't run out of paint. That would give me Tuesday through Thursday to paint the trim around four or five doors. Then Friday and Saturday I could paint the ceiling and install the flooring.

I don't want to replace the door handles until the doors are painted, front and back. I know what I want to try on the inside of the door to the loo, and it will have to wait until I buy the paint for the living room. I have no idea what I want for the insides of the other doors. Or for the vanity in the loo.

In knitting news, I will probably finish the left back section of Temperance's sweater sometime today.

In sewing news, all the fabric is preshrunk to make Halloween dresses for all the dolls. I may very well get started on those today, if I have the right thread colors. I ordered a pattern for Steadfast on Friday. There will be enough fabric to make him a shirt, as well.

The October issue of the Ensign arrived yesterday. Time to curl up with a snack and improve the shining moment.

Stealth mode.

I stopped at JoAnn's after work and invested in a five-pack of Olfa blades. It was getting to the point where I could have chewed my fabric into strips and pieces faster than cut them. Pitiful.  

If last night was about serving the dead, and it was, then tonight was about serving the living. I whipped up Willow's birthday present. Just totally lost myself in the flow, and before I knew it, I was done.

Had another good, productive day at work. The office manager cancelled the monthly support staff meeting, so I did not lose an hour and a half to two hours right in the middle of what is frequently my most effective stretch of the day. I closed two cases, finished calendaring a scheduling order I'd begun last week before I got sick, dealt with the day's mail, and got several items e-filed, e-served, or e-faxed, even started a grocery list for tomorrow night.

Tan suggested a combination that I tried for dessert tonight: Fage yogurt, nice blob of Nutella on top, and a generous sprinkling of roughly chopped pecans on top. I tossed ten or so fresh blackberries on top of all that.

Oh. Wow. The Nutella and pecans play nicely off one another, and the yogurt keeps it from being cloying. I wanted seconds, but that would have led to thirds.

Not a whole lot of knit has happened today. I've enjoyed what little there was.

Tomorrow night is for a modicum of grocery shopping and a whole lot of writing to the sisters on my VT route.

Night, y'all.

Struggle

Our testimonies fortify us and strengthen us as we face challenges in our daily lives. Some people struggle with difficult health problems; some experience financial problems; others have challenges in their marriage or with their children; some suffer from loneliness or unfulfilled hopes and dreams. It is our testimony, combined with our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and our knowledge of the plan of salvation, which helps to get us through these times of trial and hardship. - Barbara Thompson, Personal Revelation and Testimony, General Conference, Oct 2011

I can check all of these items off, at one point or another. Illness, cyclical depression, marital troubles, financial chaos, rebellious children, broken hearts, broken dreams. And yet, life continues to be worth living, because of my faith in Christ and His continuing demonstrations of faith and trust in me. (Oh d@mn. I'm sniveling in Starbucks.)

I got to meet Sr. Thompson in the spring of 2009. She was the keynote speaker at a regional singles conference, and she also met separately, beforehand, with a horde of local Relief Society presidents. I was a newly called but yet to be sustained RS president. It was so much fun, and so needful, to attend that early meeting and see many of my friends there. And to see "well, of *course* you would be here" on their faces before the flurry of hugs.

This, in marked contrast to the "poor dear Sr. Ravelled, however does she stand it?" expressions I was used to. Sometimes we are called because we have an aptitude for the calling. Sometimes we get a calling to shake things up a little. And sometimes we get a calling so Heaven can say, "This. This is how much We trust you. This is who you are worthy to stand among. No matter what anyone else thinks. Ours are the only opinions which matter."

But I digress. I had an insight while sluicing off in the shower this morning. Whether the respiratory yuck has been contagious or allergic, I think it is at least partially psychogenic. I was reviewing other instances of similar disruption: the first serious asthma attack on my 16th birthday, in part because of my sister's cat but more because my best friend was so beloved by my family, and I was jealous. The bronchitis related to my near date experience, when I was so frustrated at not being able to get a word in edgewise that I could not breathe for a week. The illness last year related to communication issues with the twins.

So what triggered or contributed to this? I think it not coincidental that I began to sneeze on Tuesday afternoon, now that Knit Night meets on Mondays (better for the majority, but not for me). Compounded by the news on the previous Saturday that Middlest's name change is final, and it's time for me to keep a promise that when my child went to the time, trouble, and expense involved, I would begin using the preferred name.

I read that post while Fourthborn was visiting, and Fourthborn is totally supportive of all the changes that Middlest is making. So I couldn't follow my instinct, which was to cover my face and howl. By the time I got back from taking Fourthborn home, I was too weary to cry.

It feels as if my sweet baby girl has died. Not in that horrible, vindictive "you are dead to me" way. The goodness, decency, and personal integrity are still there under the shell which still startles me a little, even after five years of metamorphosis. So it is still very easy to love my middle child. And it is *not my child's fault* that I am sick.

Feelings are not good or bad. They just *are*. And I have worked hard to recognize and own mine with increasing promptness, and to express or wrangle them appropriately. I just got hit out of nowhere with a double whammy and insufficient time and space to process both. The Adversary is good at that.

So the trick seems to be, to find a way to honor my feelings, without letting them bully others, or me. Sounds like a job for the Holy Spirit and the priesthood of God.

I get by, with a little help from my Friends. Gonna try, with a little help from my Friends. Gonna fly, with a little help from my Friends.

To my kids: keep following your dreams. I'll support you when I can. And even when I think you're misled, nothing, *nothing* you can do will ever break my love for you.

Somebody hand me another box of Puffs.

Pain and progress

Our great personal challenge in mortality is to become "a saint through the atonement of Christ." The pain you and I experience may be where this process is most measured. - Kent F. Richards, The Atonement Covers All Pain, Apr 2011

And the lesser stuff as well. For the better part of a week I have been playing reindeer games with my respiratory system. Not sure if it's allergies or a cold, because I've been doctoring myself with OTC medicines with varying degrees of success. The loratidine did nothing. I tried it for two days before acquiring some generic Mucinex, which has slowly but steadily been making inroads. I will have to go see a doctor before returning to work, because I missed two straight days (not a problem), went back to work on Friday, and got sent back home (problem).

The rule is, if you're out three days, you need a note from your doctor. I see this as the adult equivalent of a note from your mother, verifying that you were not playing hooky. I understand that many people abuse their company's sick pay policy. I am not one of them. I have to be barely able to walk (or breathe) before I will stay home. Yes, if I have a fever. Yes, if I'm throwing up (sorry).

Ferris Bueller I am not. I pride myself on keeping going, even when the going gets tough. It's what I do. It's who I am.

My office manager took one look at me and said Go. Home. So I did. Am I physically better off because I did? Possibly. Probably. Am I a little bit cranky because I will have to shell out $30 for a copayment before I can go back to work? Because this might not be just the usual fall allergies? Who goes to the doctor for a cold?

Me, apparently. But I don't have to like it.

Thankfully, I do have the money. And good insurance. And a doctor I love and trust.

Rant over. Happier stuff. The doll sweater for Mel's Jimmy is done, and I hope she will be as pleased with it as I am. Like the one I made for Middlest's Doran, a miniature Aran of many cables knitted on ridiculously small needles. I am midway up the front for a sweater for my Temperance, who is the doll I've had longest without making anything for her. I'm incorporating design elements from the first two sweaters. Honor's sweater will probably be next. I'll do Steadfast's (working title) last, both because he's the newest and because I will want something relatively uncomplicated after designing around Blessing's curves.

The ultimate goal is for all of them to have Aran sweaters, proper kilts if I can find a miniature tartan I like, kilt socks for the ones with human feet, and proper shoes or boots. Middlest designed a sporran pattern for Steadfast, and sooner or later I will be cannibalizing my leather jacket, which is now too large and practically loved to death. There should be enough good leather for me to perfect several pairs of shoes. Not to mention give me knowledge about authentic historical Scots footwear.

Please, Brer Fox, don't throw me in the textile patch!

In other happy news, there is visible progress on the Eternal Painting Project which is my home. I finally ma'amhandled the obstreperous doorknob off my bedroom door. (Inspiration, tin-snips, and both kinds of screwdriver. Miraculously, no childbirth words.) As well as the polite one from the door to the middle bedroom. Both doors are repainted on the hall side, and I am pleased. I have masked four of the five doorways, preparatory to painting the trim. And I got all of the baseboards up and the nails removed. And the grilles off the intake slots beneath the closet where the water heater lives. And the bits of wall painted which we deliberately left undone on Labor Day weekend, to either side of the grilles.

Do I feel frustrated at all that hasn't been done, because I've been sick? Yes, a little. But then I look at what I've accomplished this year, on my own or with Fourthborn's help, and I am so pleased. It's very much a line upon line process.

I would love to have the hall well and truly done by the end of the month. Ceiling painted, flooring down, new handles on all the doors, bookcases in place, art hung or rehung. Done. And the living room done in time for Christmas.

Next year? The really scary stuff. Kitchen and maybe even the garage.

And now if you will kindly excuse me, FB  and popcorn are calling my name.

On doing things the hard way.

There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions. - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Of Things That Matter Most, General Conference, Oct 2010

I have done things the hard way for much of my life. Sometimes from sheer bulldog stubbornness. Sometimes because I blinked and missed the road sign. Sometimes because I was sick, or tired, or both. Those are the lessons that have tended to stick with me over time.

Sometimes the solution really is as simple as doing something I know is right when I would rather do something else. (Not necessarily a bad something. Just a different something. And sometimes even a very good something, but not the one that will bring about the greatest good.)

The scriptures talk about the lightness of the yoke and the easiness of the way, when we are yoked with the Savior. I am so grateful for His patience. It cannot be an easy thing to be willingly yoked to the infinitely distractible. And there are so many of us. I wonder how He keeps from being pulled all over Creation?

That may be where the "be still and know that I am God" kicks in.

I love it when He gently slices through the Gordian knots of my thought processes and shows me a single, simple, clear image of the desired result. Whether it's the application of a spiritual verity in my daily life, or something as simple as the remembrance of an item already in my possession (somewhere) that will serve the design function I'm currently pondering. I probably need to do the mental macrame in order to appreciate the sublime solution. (Thank you, Elder Maxwell.)

Happiness

So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial. - Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Of Regrets and Resolutions

I'll tell you what real happiness is: doing something for someone that they can't do for themselves. Beloved's mother left his father when my sweetheart was a baby. It was the wise thing to do. Later she remarried and had his four siblings. That marriage ended through no fault of her own. So when she passed, and Beloved passed, they were not sealed to one another.

I fixed that tonight. It was heart-stoppingly wonderful. When Beloved's stepfather, whom he adored, and who passed a couple of weeks ago, has been gone a year, I'll see what I can do to seal her to him as well. (A living woman can only be sealed to one man, which is why I needed the sealing cancellation from the children's father. A woman who dies may be sealed to any or all men to whom she was legally wed, even if the marriage(s) subsequently ended in divorce. At some point, as I understand it, she will get to decide which one she wants to keep, or possibly choose someone else.) At any rate the paperwork is done for one marriage, and it was a lovely, tender experience.

And now I'm going to say goodnight and see if anybody wants to come talk to me in my dreams.

Gratitude

When we encounter challenges and problems in our lives, it is often difficult for us to focus on our blessings. However, if we reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given. - Thomas S. Monson, The Divine Gift of Gratitude, General Conference, Oct 2010

From time to time I have enjoyed a somewhat ironic appreciation of the blessing which Malachi and other prophets have shared: that if we are obedient, Heaven cannot be restrained from pouring out blessings on our behalf, to the point that we run out of room to receive them. Most of the rooms in this house, and the garage, demonstrate this verity.

My challenge and blessing is to share the wealth. Not to make room for more stuff in my life, but to make room to navigate safely. I'm happiest when it's two steps forward and one step back, and not the other way around. (Dang. I just remembered to take my antibiotic, almost three hours late. The consequence of taking three different medicines at the moment.)

In the spirit of slowing down while making sure the needful things get done, Tuesday night I served the dead. Last night I made Willow's birthday present. Tonight I wrote the letters for my VT route and reported to my VT supervisor. I am about to put my stationery away and knit for a few minutes. I was up until nearly midnight last night. I'd like significantly more sleep tonight and a reasonable chance of getting to the gym in the morning.

Had a really great day at work today. The urgent stuff got done. So did the important stuff. And I was sensible at the quarterly birthday party and only had a small ice cream cup, bypassing the charming and obviously lethal cupcakes.

I need to do a lot of cooking this weekend, as well as a lot of painting. I've used up most of my leftovers, so it's time to start rebuilding that stash.

I love being able to breathe again.

And they did!

The Shiwoo arrived on Tuesday. He had an exquisitely done faceup in grey, which suited his previous life, but I see him as a tween boy, and Fourthborn wiped* his face yesterday while I folded laundry. It was too humid to use the sealant, so his new faceup will happen the next time we get together, if the weather cooperates.

*Wiping means to remove all previous paint and embellishments. It's like cleaning the chalkboard and starting over.

The Australian print got here on Thursday. I found its frame after work on Friday, in the clearance bin for $8. Sweet! That's all assembled and waiting in the living room.

The Vettrianos arrived on Friday. I unrolled them, admired them, and rolled them back up. I don't have time to mess with them now. Will probably mat them identically to the new print of the Savior, as they will be hung nearby in the hall.

Oye, the hall. I pulled quite a few bits of paint off the wall when I was removing the painter's tape. So that will need to be fixed. Fourthborn and I got the last of the tack strips up yesterday. Along with small chunks of the concrete, enough that I will have to do some patching (unlike in the dining room). And there are maybe a dozen nail heads that must be removed, or they will tear the vinyl flooring. So I'm kinda stuck until that gets figured out. And we know how much I love feeling stuck.

I also can't get the doorknob off my bedroom door, to replace it with one that won't pinch me or lock me out. I'm wondering if a hacksaw is the solution (and if that would work for the nails in the hall). The door is in good shape, but bland. One friend suggested replacing the door. That may turn out to be my best option.

In happier news, I now have a butler's tray table for the hall, saving me the cost of the demilune table at IKEA, which was the right color but also, sadly, bland. (People! I don't *do* bland!) The savings covered most of what I paid for four carved oak chairs. All from my favorite little antique shop. I got four chairs for less than the cost of one of the chairs that Squishy butt-tested for me a few months ago. So I can cross those off my list.

I also have two new 7.5 foot ficus trees that match the small one. Friends from church sold their house faster than they thought it would go. So she put a message on the ward RS Facebook page: please come help yourselves. That saved me another $300 plus.

So, I have spent some money, and I have saved a lot more. Six new dining room chairs would have set me back between $900 and $1000. I briefly considered getting two benches from Pier One, on sale for a little under $400 total, but I couldn't tuck them under a gateleg table when not in use. These chairs are eminently tuckable, and they cost me $119 plus tax and a quarter of a tank of gas (but I was picking up Faythe anyway).

I have a lot of stuff out in the living room, just waiting to go up on the walls, but I need to do the ceiling and floor first. I knew I needed a relatively quiet weekend for pondering and planning. That doesn't stop me from feeling a little frustrated that I can't start charging full speed ahead when I wake up tomorrow.

It's just another reminder that I really have minimal control over my little corner of the world. And I have had far too many of those reminders of late, from the thing with my eye that could have been a detached retina but wasn't, to a child's name change that will cost me another $400 at some point to get my will updated if a handwritten and notarized codicil is insufficient, to concerns about where some of my beloved children will spend eternity if they don't rethink some of their choices.

This is Fast Sunday, and because I am diabetic I will not be fasting. But I will definitely be praying for wisdom, understanding, and comfort. And if my home teacher is in town I may ask for a blessing. I have a lot to think about, from stubborn nails to my own faults and weaknesses.

I am so thankful that I am not in charge of the universe.