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Four years into widowhood, after one year of incredible happiness and nearly 14 years of single blessedness. Have given up perfect manicures and pretty hands in order to resume playing the soprano recorder and to see if I can figure out how to play bluegrass banjo. Singing in the shower. Still really, *really* love to knit!

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Interesting times.

I spent a good chunk of last weekend in tears. Not sadness or self-pity or depression. Simply the natural (for me) result of hanging out where the Spirit could teach me. But I was starting to get a little annoyed with myself.

Don't get me wrong. I worked hard, and paid good money, to get to a point where I could recognize and experience a full range of feelings. I am grateful.

When I went home after the final session of General Conference, I was spiritually replete and physically worn out. I had a small snack and slept for four hours. Which wrecked my sleep for Sunday night. I was up till 1:00am cooking and baking. Slept till 2:30. Physical symptom in a new/unusual place. Up for half an hour or so. Then back to bed.

Not rested when the alarm went off. Vague sense of pain in my midsection. Called my doctor's office once I got to work, and I have an appointment this afternoon. Went to Secondborn's for FHE and got a priesthood blessing. Got very specific counsel and the assurance that if I follow my doctors' (plural, repeated) instructions I would be healed.

OK then. So no need to worry, because whether this is trifling or serious, I am going to be fine. That in itself is a huge relief. One of the uncertainties of middle age is whether a particular symptom is a speed bump, a detour, or a major construction project.

In knitting news, I joined the sleeves to the body and knitted one row. It didn't look right. I went back to my notes and realized the sleeves are ten stitches too wide. I think. I am going to have to wait until I am not distracted and recalculate. But it looks like I am going to have to knit two new sleeves. I can save the current ones and incorporate them into another project.

Meanwhile, I need to figure out breakfast and pack a portable lunch, because I'm leaving the office at 1:00. There are things I would like to eat but will not, because they interfere with some medications. And since I do not know what I am dealing with, or what I might be taking before the end of the day, that limits the culinary possibilities at least a little.

So: your job is to send up prayers and/or positive thoughts. And not to worry (I know how some of you are). Because we already know that the good guys win.

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