About Me

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Four years into widowhood, after one year of incredible happiness and nearly 14 years of single blessedness. Have given up perfect manicures and pretty hands in order to resume playing the soprano recorder and to see if I can figure out how to play bluegrass banjo. Singing in the shower. Still really, *really* love to knit!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Cue Eddie Murphy:

It’s a h#ll of a day in the neighborhood. I was at the hospital until nearly 10:00 last night. It’s not good. Well, for Nita it is, because she will be graduating from earth life very soon. But for those of us who love her, it is sad and difficult.

Ian’s father in law is a doctor; he was able to talk with all three of her doctors, including the oncologist, and translate doc-speak into comprehensible English. They have discovered a cancer which is very aggressive and very advanced. It is fusing her internal organs together, and then when she moves, there are tears, and toxicity pours into her body cavity. [So I guess that would explain the hole in her stomach and the one in her duodenum.] Were it not for the respirator, she would not be breathing.

I sat with Dane and his friend and friend’s wife while Larry went to fill out the DNR.

Larry kindly allowed me sit with her for a few minutes and tell her how much I love her, and how thankful I am for all she has done for and with me, over the years. I only have two friends whom I have known longer: Shiela (my best friend from high school) and Robi (who also knows and loves Nita).

You will be pleased to note that the new guy has said exactly the right things, because he is truly a good guy and just past the worst of his own grief. Unlike He Who Must Not be Named, who ghosted on me the last time I was grieving, this one is a true friend, and I am so grateful.

I woke up dry-eyed, but that changed while I was filling the bathtub this morning. I wore my shades into the office building, and they are here at my desk as I type, in case my eyes start leaking again. I’ve let my attorney know that I am just waiting for the call, and that I will be attending a funeral in the near future.

I love this scripture, from our Doctrine and Covenants (modern revelation given primarily through the prophet Joseph Smith): “Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die, and more especially for those that have not hope of a glorious resurrection.” ~ Doctrine and Covenants 42:45.

I have no doubt that her eternity will be glorious indeed. Dane commented that there is a big party waiting for when she gets to the other side. They will be so happy to have her back again. She will get to meet her mother, who died giving birth to her (amazing to think that that was still happening, back in 1952). And all the relatives and others whom she has loved and served so faithfully in 58 short years. She is very frail, not sedated but nevertheless more there than here.

She is leaving a marvelous heritage: a faithful husband who honors his priesthood, and five stalwart sons who all served honorable missions and are temple-worthy. (I am a little envious of that, but only a little; Heaven is not done with me, nor with my children.)

After I left the hospital, I went over to Secondborn’s, and we talked and cried for the better part of an hour. Family is such a marvelous comfort.

If you need me, I will be eating my feelings all weekend. Although I may nip out for a bit tomorrow to see a miniatures show. Beauty is also therapeutic.

3 comments:

Kristen said...

So sorry. I've lost a few friends, many family, and while we know the plan it is still a heart-wrenching event. My sympathies.

Bonnie said...

I've been thinking of you and Nita and her family all day. I'm praying for all of you. I love you.

Jenni said...

The whole family is in my thoughts and prayers. How grateful I am for the reassurance of forever families, even though it still hurts when we lose those we love. It is so much better than not knowing what comes after this life.