About Me

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Five years into widowhood, after one year of incredible happiness and nearly 14 years of single blessedness. Have given up perfect manicures and pretty hands in order to resume playing the soprano recorder and to see if I can figure out how to play bluegrass banjo. Singing in the shower. Still really, *really* love to knit!

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Just when you thought it was safe to go into the water

Middlest blogged yesterday that they appear to be in Hanna’s path. Maybe STBX’s non-rabbits will get whisked away by gale-force winds?

I got calls when I turned on the phone after the commute last night [about which more later], that the children’s father was on his way to the hospital after having had an apparent stroke. Firstborn was on her way to the hospital; LittleBit was also on her way, Secondborn would be heading there soon. They weren’t expecting me to show up but thought I should know.

[Girls: has anybody thought to inform your dad’s sister and brother? Either about the blood sugar episode from a couple of weeks ago, or about this?]

I called his home teachers and put them in the loop. They came out and gave him a blessing, with 2BDH’s assistance.

LittleBit called Middlest in VA and let her know.

Fourthborn was in her dad’s cubby at the emergency room when I got there [2BDH drove us there]. Fiancé was there and gave me a big hug. His folks showed up shortly thereafter.

LittleBit’s housemate showed up. I called Brother Sushi to ask him to pray for LittleBit; he loves her like one of his nieces.

LittleBit and Fourthborn remarked that we hadn’t had so much of the family in one place since Christmas, and that food would be a good idea. I shooed them out so I could talk to him.

I’m glad that I spent that evening a few weeks ago, writing out all the things that I forgive him for; I think that was more for me than for him, because all I told him was that whether he lives for another five weeks or another fifty years, I forgive him for the things he’s done and the things he didn’t do, and the disappointments, and I thanked him for all the good times that we had.

He said that he was sorry that he had left anything undone that he needed to be forgiven for. And I told him that I really, really miss the man he used to be, that the first five years of our marriage were everything I could ever have wished for, and that I’m glad that we had those years together, and I thanked him for the girls.

I was all soggy and red-faced when I walked out of the room, and Fourthborn and LittleBit both commented that I looked a whole lot happier than when I walked in there.

So: what I knew when writing the first part of this, at 11:08 on Friday night. He had a small stroke, maybe a 2 on the hospital’s how bad is this scale but not a 15 or a 20. It has affected his speech center, but that may all come back, or mostly come back. When they did the CAT scan, they found evidence of several [many?] previous TIA’s [transient ischemic attacks, or mini-strokes], chiefly in the part of the brain that affects balance. Which would explain a lot. He will be on some sort of anticoagulant for the rest of his life. He’s in the neurology wing, and this morning they will do an MRI. His blood sugar, at least for the moment, is normal.

He was in the car with LittleBit when it happened; she was driving. When they got home, he couldn’t get out of the car under his own power, and she couldn’t get him out, and he stopped breathing. One of the maintenance men did CPR and got him going again until the EMT’s came and took him to the ER.

I got a lot of knitting done on the train last night, and in the car on the way to the ER, and I knitted some more until I wound down enough to try and get some sleep. I inhaled a pint of BlueBell Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream in about 20 minutes while typing most of this up. And I slept from just before midnight to roughly 6:30 this morning.

I wonder if Firstborn and Secondborn got any sleep last night? When 2BDH brought me home, they were with their dad in the neuro ward, waiting to help fill out a raft of paperwork and get a more precise prognosis.

Touching briefly on the train ride home: Trainman and I talked food and weekend projects all the way home, while I knit. I had my cell phone on vibrate and in my purse, so I didn’t pick up the frantic calls from the girls. It wasn’t until I called Secondborn to give her Trainman’s license plate number and tell her I was following him to a taqueria because it looked like we were going to have dinner together although it didn’t sound or feel like a date, that I found out about their dad.

I bought my dinner. Trainman bought his. I fielded calls with a dying phone battery, took my dinner home and put it in the fridge. 2BDH came over and brought in the bookcase and moved the TV, and then he drove me over to the hospital. I think I will be having my aguacate torta for lunch. I was reasonably sure that if I tried to eat it before bedtime, it would come right back up again.

I think I am somewhere near the end of am about to finish the thirteenth repeat of chart 2 of Adamas. I was knitting on autopilot there at the hospital, and I had no idea when I went to bed if the last two or three rows bore any semblance to the pattern as graphed. I just checked them; miraculously, they look perfectly fine. Probably better than I do.

Looks like I missed out on my $5 turkey breast, a Friday-only special, from a local grocery store. I will go console myself with more knitting.

I don’t think this is going to be one of those weekends when I can leave my cell phone off. I wonder if I will finish Adamas today, or tomorrow?


leslye said...

My dear sister, We will be praying for you and the girls for strength and peace. I know this is difficult for all. If you need an ear, not just eyes for the blog, you have my number.

Rorek said...

To answer/reply to your comment on my blog, Dad hasn't taken insulin (as far as I know) since I left Texas. I think the last up until his doctor's visit, was that last vial I got him before I left.