About Me

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Five years into widowhood, after one year of incredible happiness and nearly 14 years of single blessedness. Have given up perfect manicures and pretty hands in order to resume playing the soprano recorder and to see if I can figure out how to play bluegrass banjo. Singing in the shower. Still really, *really* love to knit!

Saturday, July 11, 2009


That’s what the guy on the train said it was around 6:00 last night. That is not what I call progress, people! [i.e., not much of a decrease from the 107°F we had a couple of weeks ago.] And we still haven’t made it to August; I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, probably before the summer week is out: Texas in August is as close to Hell as I ever hope to come.

But in exchange for our ridiculously hot summers [if I wanted temperatures worthy of Death Valley (96°F there at 7:49pm, 117°F for the high; 100°F here at 7:40pm, 104°F for the high; 98°F in Dallas at 7:52pm, 103°F for the high ~ I rest my case!), I would be living in Death Valley], we have bluebonnets in the spring, chicken fried steak, and some of the nicest folks you would ever want to meet.

Right now they’re some of the hottest, sweatiest people you would ever want to meet, present company included, though I cooled down quickly after getting home last night. I have temporarily given up walking from the office building to the train station; I snag a bus and count myself blessed. Once the mercury dips to the low 90’s and stays there, I’ll resume my good habit. I do love to walk, and four blocks is just long enough to help me begin making the switch from work-life to home-life or church-life.

I have 7” worked on the back of Autumn Asters; I am 2” from the beginning of the armscye. At the moment, my yarn is not arguing with me. At the moment, the stitches flow sweetly, one after another, and my biggest problem is making myself stop knitting long enough to bathe and eat. It’s a nice problem to have, except maybe unless you have to be within six feet of me!

Don’t worry; I have a tub drawn, and I will hop in as soon as I publish this post. I am heading over to the temple for the wedding of one of my friends. When I get back to Fort Worth, I will wrap their present for the reception tonight, and I will head over to the nursing home [again] to pick up the books I forgot to pick up on Thursday, and to pay the fine on my card. I cannot believe that after eleven years of being divorced, I have incurred a late fee for books that he is reading. [Not his fault in the slightest; he let Firstborn know on Wednesday that the books needed to go back.] But still. I think this batch I delivered on Thursday may well be the last one; I know that I am my brother’s keeper. I get that. And I know that he is still my brother, if no longer my sweetheart. But I think that all I owe him at this point is civility, and gratitude for the children we brought into the world. I do not think that I need to be taking a rotation in getting him books from the library.

Girls, that thunk you just heard was me, laying the foundation for a boundary.

I think it’s going to be an interesting day. I believe in marriage, particularly in marriage for the eternities, though some of you may find that ironic in the extreme. And I am happy to support my friend, who has had far worse luck with men than I have had; her last husband was definitely a keeper, but he died instantly in a head-on collision about ten years ago. Nevertheless, weddings make me un peu triste.

It’s not about me. It’s not about me. It’s not about me. Repeat as necessary.


Kristen said...

Your description of the weather and people made me remember reading Cold Sassy Tree. Good book, good post...good luck with that wedding that is about someone else. I need to remember that more often :)

Bonnie said...

That's kind of how I felt after being the only one getting books for him for over 8 months and incurring a total of $27 in late fees. Ack!! I don't care who helps as long as I'm not the only one who gets the books. I just don't have the time to make it to the library before it closes after working a full day at work. Plus my hubby has been so busy lately that my full time hrs continue way into the night. No rest for the weary eh? Thanks for helping out, however briefly. Maybe we can get the other half of the offspring who are local and should be their father's keeper to pitch in every once in a blue moon so that Jenni and I aren't the only ones doing anything.