About Me

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Five years into widowhood, after one year of incredible happiness and nearly 14 years of single blessedness. Have given up perfect manicures and pretty hands in order to resume playing the soprano recorder and to see if I can figure out how to play bluegrass banjo. Singing in the shower. Still really, *really* love to knit!

Monday, April 26, 2010

D.C. al Fine.

Which is Italian for go back to the beginning and muddle through until you get to the end. Or, alternatively, another one bites the dust.

Mene mene tekel upharsin. [NintendoMan was weighed in the balance, and found wanting.] As Secondborn remarked after stake conference, he may be temple-worthy, but he is not presently Mom-worthy. Et Maman perd la patience. Which is French for Mom is got fed up.

The good news continues to be, that every No I say, gets me closer to a blessed and eternal Yes.

More good news is that long ago, I took to heart something that I read: when a man says he’s not good enough for you, he is always telling you the truth. And in this case, we have the testimony of three witnesses: NintendoMan, Secondborn, and the whisperings of my own heart.

I am glad that I gave him a second chance. And I am done, and moving on. With no inclination to warble this song. [Also without the crankiness I felt when I kicked Brother Abacus to the curb.] I’m staying friends with this one, if from a distance for awhile. He is truly a good man; he’s just not my good man.

I had been postponing some minor decisions because if we were going to be a couple, they would be unnecessary. Now, at least, I know that I can go ahead and paint the hall, because I won’t need to be looking for a larger house in a year or so. I may tackle the parts with no furniture tomorrow, after an early morning trip to the temple, and then I can move the bookcase and finish up this weekend. (Or not.) And either the living room or my studio, in June.

There was major knitting progress throughout the day, and into the night. I celebrated my freedom by sitting on the bed, listening to the back half of Butterfly, reveling in all that glorious noise, and making up my own translations for what was going on. Try it sometime; it’s more fun than reading Koreanglish on dolly websites!

I set the alarm for 4:00am and trucked on over to the health club. I did not join up to please NintendoMan, or anybody else. I did it to take care of Ms. Ravelled. Another reason to go so early, besides the main one (no competition for the recumbent bicycle and other equipment) is that Bueno is closed at that hour. I had a great workout, and I came home hungry and happy.

Can’t wait to get to the office; one of our committees has arranged for a massage therapist to come this afternoon, and I will be enjoying a half-hour chair massage. I have the cash tucked safely away in my wallet.

There is other good news, but it will have to wait until tomorrow. Do I know how to keep all y’all on the edge of your seats, or what?


Tola said...

big hug

Bonnie said...

I'm glad you have some resolution at least in one aspect of your life. Just think of all these adventures as the fire refining you into an even more awesome woman!