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Ten years into widowhood, after one year of incredible happiness and nearly 14 years of single blessedness. Retired, and mostly enjoying it. Still knitting. [Zen]tangling.again after a brief hiatus.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Tender moment(s).

The wedding was wonderful. (Of course.) It was good to see so many friends. We sat outdoors. One of the ribbons tied to a lamp post kept batting me in the face.

As I sat there I suddenly felt Beloved's presence. I'm glad that he got to play hooky from Heaven for a few minutes. He really loved (and loves) those kids. I can only explain the experience as an overwhelming feeling of tenderness. And I do mean overwhelming. In retrospect almost identical to what I felt at the temple the other night. It's similar to what I feel when I'm moved by the Spirit but more immediate. If that makes any sense.

On the drive home I called my friend J who was widowed a few years ago. I asked her what it felt like when her sweetheart checked in with her. She confirmed that I wasn't imagining things. And that I could trust the impression.

It was only later that I remembered how I had felt in the temple. So that was a second witness. But really??? I would prefer that he pop in when I'm not out in public so that people don't just think I'm being sad. Because it's not the same thing at all, although it looks the same on the outside.

J said her husband popped in a lot for the first six months or so. And that she always knows when he's near.

It is a wonderful thing to realize how thin that veil can be between this world and the next. I know that Beloved has not forgotten me, any more than I have forgotten him.

And I am completely convinced that it was he who dropped that bug down my shirt to dry up my tears. *You* just try to sit quietly while wondering if you are about to get bitten or stung! When I sprinted to the loo after the "I do's" were I-did, whatever it was had flown or crawled away.

Squishy came over last night and taped the ceiling for me and took home a bagful of stuff. I spent the better part of an hour emptying shelves in one bookcase and am not quite half done. I hope to finish that after church today and maybe get a wall or two painted.

If not then tomorrow night after work and after I attempt to straighten out the cable company. They sent a box for the return of stuff *I carted to their storefront*. So I will take their empty box and my receipts and the invoice that says they owe me money but can charge me up to $650 for the cable box. And I will smile sweetly but be relentless until this is taken care of.

Bwa ha ha ha ha!

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