I am trying to figure out how I feel about the fourth petri dish, the one who is very good friends with the former spouse of NintendoMan. I don’t dislike her. This is not what I remember jealousy feeling like, so I’m reasonably sure it’s not that, neither for her closeness to GreyhoundWoman nor for the fact that she is dating the new guy (for whom I do indeed have a couple of possible permanent names depending on how things turn out, so nyah!). I think it is something as basic and simple as two magnets that, no matter how hard you try to push them together, they pop apart as if spring-loaded.
It’s strong enough that I’m not sure I could stand in a prayer circle with her, at least at this time. We served in the same session at the temple last night, and I was in the dressing room a minute or so ahead of her, to change out of my street clothes. I had put my stuff into a changing area so I could grab a hanger from one of the lockers, and as I came back, she popped in there and back out again when she saw my temple bag. We ended up in adjacent cubicles, and on either side of the new guy while sitting in the chapel waiting for our session to begin. We did not, thankfully, sit next to one another during the session.
I cannot explain this sense of uneasiness; it has nothing to do with her worthiness, or mine, to serve in the temple, and I think what I need to do is to pray for her and keep her name on the prayer roll at the temple and ask Heaven to purify my heart.
That ought to spill over into other aspects of my life, as well.
I emptied another box this morning, but it barely had anything in it, and it is in good enough shape that I can pass it on to my friend who is moving. So that’s a good start to the day.
I am ready to begin the fifth round of ribbing on the second missionary hat. And on my way to the temple last night I stopped into the church bookstore to pick up two more copies of the Conference issue of the Ensign. This time around, when I subscribed, I paid a little extra to get two copies of that issue when it comes out twice a year. I have already given the spare to a friend at work. And when I was helping another friend take the mail down last night, I asked her if she would like a copy. I already have both of them (good Christian women of other denominations) hooked on Meridian magazine. And she would, so I picked up one for her and one for who knows who.
I need to grab some stuff and head out the door. Back to the temple tonight, to do my weekly initiatories, where I think it will be a little less complicated than last night.
- Four years into widowhood, after one year of incredible happiness and nearly 14 years of single blessedness. Have given up perfect manicures and pretty hands in order to resume playing the soprano recorder and to see if I can figure out how to play bluegrass banjo. Singing in the shower. Still really, *really* love to knit!